So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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