I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How's work?
Spinning.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
