GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize