what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
