I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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