Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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