But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
