I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
