I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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