i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
