i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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