I should be sponsored by Trojan
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
