Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
