I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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