someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
