That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
