Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
