If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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