You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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