Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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