he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
