i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
time to smoke my breakfast
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
