what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude i'm inner monologue high
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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