I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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