I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
