you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize