Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
