He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
