whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
