you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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