i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
