i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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