i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
