That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
