i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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