I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
false alarm. still invincible.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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