3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
