There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
