Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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