at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
