Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
