i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
