Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
