would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
