I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
dude. I can hear the air.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
