About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
