im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize