At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
