is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Dear god my vagina.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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