I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
someone owes me an orgasm
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
