she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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