I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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