Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
