nut hugger
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
