its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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