He is an equal opportunity slut.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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