So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
