that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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