I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
id be glad to
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
