Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He shit in the fireplace
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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