it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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