If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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