and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
