And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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