fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
