all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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