it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
